You are currently reading the July 1 edition of Meredith Goldstein’s Love Letters newsletter. Every week, Meredith offers behind-the-scenes glimpses into the Love Letters column and podcast, as well as stories of human connection and opinions on relationships and public issues.
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Let’s begin by discussing some intriguing books.
What people mean when they remark, “I’m not ready to get married,” is the subject of this Love Letters question.
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Have questions about your relationship? Send them to Love Letters.
This is a story of a big day wedding that took place at one of my favorite botanical gardens.
This is a tale about loud eateries. Because restaurant noise significantly disrupts getting-to-know-you dates, I believe it is relevant to Love Letters. dates in general. Who wants to say, “What?” all night long?
Please remember that the application to be included in The Big Day is always available if you or someone you know is having a fantastic wedding.
Additionally, kindly submit an anonymous query about a relationship to the Love Letters column.
Savage rain
I scheduled an interview with sex and relationship columnist Dan Savage following the 900th Saturday of rainy Boston since he’s from Seattle and knows how to stay cool even when it’s constantly raining.
When movies tell us that kissing in the rain is incredibly romantic, are they lying to us? Or that under umbrellas, romance and self-assurance might blossom?
Because, in my experience, everything is merely mushy in real life.
Since more rain is forecast, I am bringing you this interview on a bright Boston day. Dan says we need to carpe siccus regardless of our intended relationship status. That’s Latin for “seize the dry,” if my Google search is correct.
This exchange with Dan has been shortened and altered. Zoom was used for our conversation. The weather is all that two advice columnists are considering.
Savage: It’s true that the weather has an impact on our moods, and our relationships are impacted by our moods. You feel like you deserve the summer after enduring the winter in a large metropolis with awful weather. However, summertime is also a time when people meet by chance. When people leave the house, you have the chance—possibly on the days you have off—to have a romantic encounter in which you bump into someone while you’re out and about rather than interviewing possible first dates on Hinge. A fresh relationship may be hampered if the weather is [poor] for an extended period of time.
Savage: For established couples, sexy things happen in the rain. People don’t wait outdoors in the rain in the hopes of meeting someone by happenstance.
Savage What you might term drizzle is the key to Seattle’s rain. It’s drizzle. But people are affected by the melancholy. June is here. The sky is overcast. For weeks, there has been cloud cover. We call it June-uary because it hasn’t really risen over 70 more than once or twice. Boston, how do you handle it? Despite the rain, you still leave the house. Even in [poor] weather, restaurants and outdoor seating are open in Europe, and people are sitting outside and taking in the aesthetics of the weather. Leaving the house to go somewhere and do something is not doable. As Americans, we simply believe that we are incapable.
Savage: The lesson of Seattle’s weather is to not wait. Even though it was sunny and in the 70s for the majority of the morning, if you do that and think, “Oh, it’s going to be a nice day,” and then wander around the house until one o’clock before you leave, you can be stepping out to a 20-degree temperature drop and rain. So, if you’re among those who have been sitting at home whining, get out the door. Leave as quickly as possible, as early as possible. Individuals write to you and to me. How do we get to know people? The apps are quite annoying. The advise is to go places, do activities, and run into people; it doesn’t have to be pleasant outside to do so. People believe that the applications are tricking them into staying unmarried forever. But yeah, that’s simpler to accomplish when the weather is great. It makes it easier, and the people you may encounter will be more open and in a better mood. Therefore, leave your apartment or the [expletive] house.
Butterfly effect
Please listen to the podcast’s season finale. Zoo New England’s Ed O. Brien taught us a lot of things.The episode serves as a reminder of one of our most potent symbols—the caterpillar turning into a butterfly—and a meditation on the kind of transition we’ve been studying throughout the season.
You may imagine Ed and I doing our conversation at Butterfly Hollow at the Franklin Park Zoo while you listen to podcasts wherever you get them.
I’ll leave you a picture of my trip.
Meredith
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