Advice column: edition one



This will be a reoccurring column in which we will give you advice to the best of our abilities.

In this column, we will be answering questions that were submitted to us through this form. Our column will update monthly, so please continue to submit any questions you may have!

How can I enjoy my high school years when there’s so much work and stress?
Honestly, this is something I’ve struggled with a lot over the years. I’ve skipped out on things I was excited about countless times just to study, but recently, I’ve realized that those fun things can be just as important as acing a big test. It’s isolating to spend all your time stressing over school; taking time for yourself is healthy and will ultimately make you a more balanced individual. The next time you find yourself stressing, try putting what you’re doing into perspective and remember that high school is about more than work and grades. It’s also about growing as a person, finding your interests and forming friendships. Personally, my happiest high school memories have been times when I’ve let myself forget about my work and focus on things that make me happy, like spending time with my friends. And when you have work that really needs to get done, try to schedule some study dates with your friends; it’s possible to have fun and be productive at the same time!
How do I stop comparing my accomplishments to the accomplishments of others?
In a school as competitive as this one, I’m sure many of us, if not all, have struggled with this at some point. It can be really difficult to be surrounded by all of these incredible people your age and not feel inadequate. However, it helps to put things in perspective and remember that grades and trophies aren’t permanent. A lot of important, admirable traits can’t be measured through tangible rewards. You can be just as accomplished as someone else, even if you don’t have any material proof of it.

This year, I finally made it onto a BHS sports team, but I don’t feel like I am accepted by the other people. They have made jokes about me, excluded me from team pictures and TikTok videos and ignored me after I had to miss practice one day because I was sick. Most of the team tends to give me the cold shoulder unless they need another person for an upcoming game. At this point, I am not even sure if I should continue. What’s a Junior to do? The coaches and captains are unable or unwilling to help me. Is it worth it to stick it out, or should I leave?
To start, I’m super sorry you’re having a hard time on your sports team. My suggestion is to talk to your teammates and address the situation with them head on. It can be really validating to air out your issues instead of letting them linger and take up space in your mind. I don’t think you should drop the sport, especially if it’s something you are passionate about, but ultimately that decision is up to you. There is absolutely no shame in removing yourself from a toxic situation, but sticking it out might help you feel better about the situation in the long run. No matter how you end up handling this, try to surround yourself with friends and family who care about you. All the best and good luck!

I’m going through a friendship break up and I’m totally blindsided by this decision. I think our interest has grown apart and we need to find ourselves. I feel like she hates me or something but I really don’t know. [I don’t know] if I should reach out to her because she’s the one who broke up with me or should I let it be and see where it goes from there.
First of all, I’m really sorry that you’re dealing with this. Losing a friend is always hard, no matter the circumstances. Whether or not you should talk to your friend is a tough decision; it would be nice to have closure, but it could also make you more confused about the situation. If your other friends are close with the friend in question, it could be good to have them act as a bit of a go-between for you and the friend who cut you off. Also, it’s important to remember that some friends just aren’t meant to be in your life forever, and that’s okay! A friend can be an important, meaningful part of your life even if you two are no longer close.

How to find friends
Finding friends at a school as big as ours can be really difficult especially if you’re not on any sports teams or after-school clubs. My advice is to try to find someone in one of your classes who either doesn’t seem to have many friends in the class, or who you know has a similar interest as you. If you get to pick your seats in the class, try to sit next to that person and start up a conversation, no matter how small! That’s how I’ve made most of my friends throughout my high school years.