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By Max Friedman (November 2011), December 2011
Misleading is the one word I would use to describe Naked Pizza.
Walking into the Coolidge Corner pizzeria, I was pleasantly surprised by how modern an establishment it was. The layout of the restaurant naturally appeared to my high-tech nature, due to the two iPads sitting in the store for customer use. My positivity ended there. Once my initial impression subsided, I started to recognize the fraudulence behind some of this restaurant chain’s aura.
It felt as though Naked Pizza cared more about producing a quick product than caring about the experience of the customer. For example, I was unimpressed with the glorified bagel toaster they called an oven. Details like this kept the restaurant from feeling authentic. And, while someone in a hurry might find it acceptable, my desire to eat there was squashed by the absence of tables.
I was also dissatisfied with Naked Pizza’s lack of options. Historically, pizza joints offer quick bites, so it was upsetting that the restaurant didn’t sell individual slices. I was forced to buy a 10-inch pizza, despite not being hungry enough to want to eat it all.
My next grievance was the restaurant’s branding as a healthy alternative. You would think that a restaurant that starts off its menu by saying “all natural, no freaky chemicals” would be providing you with a lean, authentic meal. Wrong.
My four-topping 10-inch pizza was roughly 900 calories. Thank goodness I split it. While this may not seem like too many calories, for a young adult like myself, a full 10-inch pizza could be, and has been, dinner. Not to mention, this pizzeria uses whole wheat crust. It is blatantly cutting taste, so it should be cutting calories.
Finally, we come to the taste. Overall, it was adequate. This was nowhere near the best pizza I have ever had, but I was content with the crust, cheese and toppings quality. My biggest complaint with the flavor was that the ingredients were so salty that each bite made me want another, eventually bringing me to eat more food than I think I should have.
In the end, the verdict is clear. You should go to Naked Pizza if you are not famished, not tight on cash and not trying to fool yourself into thinking you just ate a healthy meal. Moral of the story: Don’t go to Naked Pizza.
Max Friedman can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Photos by Kerry Grove